Parents have watched the internet’s safety rules change. In the 90s, we were warned against using our real names online or disclosing any personal information. Now, kids have social media profiles with their faces and names side by side, and tag their schools in TikTok videos!
Despite this, there are still serious dangers online, especially for kids, and most parents implement rules, standards, or practices to help keep their kids as safe as possible while using tech.
Almost every kid has argued with their parents over these rules (or will), but most also admit that they recognize the rules are valid and essential.
Kids & Parents Argue About Every Aspect Of Technology Use
Parents set rules about every aspect of technology use, including when their kids are allowed to use tech, what tech they’re permitted to use, how much time they’re allowed to devote to their devices, and who they’re allowed to contact. Kids argue with their parents about every one of those standards.
In a new Talker Research poll, 87% of kids reported arguing with their parents about tech, with the top two arguments being the total amount of screen time allowed (46%) and access to screens at bedtime (40%). A smaller number report arguing with their parents about the time they spend gaming (28%), engaging with inappropriate content (25%), and accessing social media (25%).
We know that too much screen time, too much social media, and access to the wrong corners of the internet can have long-term effects on our kids, and parents are fighting an uphill battle to keep kids safe in a world that’s still largely uncharted. The good news is that our kids also know these risks are there.
Kids Do Acknowledge Online Risks & Parental Duty
Despite engaging in these arguments, most kids do recognize (at least on an intellectual level, even if they have other feelings about it) that the internet can be a dangerous place.
About half of the kids surveyed said that if the roles were reversed, they’d share their parents’ concerns. An even larger number (59%) said that they would have concerns about their (hypothetical) kids accessing videos that show extreme violence, gore, and death.
In fact, most kids (71%) said that they thought their parents were handling internet safety rules appropriately, and a few (4%) even think their parents aren’t strict enough. Only 25% reported feeling that their parents restrict their online access too much.
Most Parents Think They’re Handling It Well, Too
Those of us who learned how to quickly change windows with CTRL+TAB in the ’90s (don’t judge, I just wanted to play Solitaire in computer class) know that hiding one’s online activities has only gotten easier as technology has grown. Despite that, most parents today are probably a bit more conversant with the tech our kids are using than our parents were, and parents overall agree with their kids’ assessments that they’re asking the right questions and setting the right rules.
In the survey, 87% of parents said they felt they were tech-savvy enough to have intelligent conversations with their kids about safety, 97% said they’d had these conversations, and 58% rated themselves “very aware” of their kids’ online activities.
In addition to keeping lines of conversation open, parents listed other rules they employ for their kids’ tech use.
“All digital purchases need to be approved by them (64%), time limits on devices (50%), no devices until after homework and chores (49%) and parents need to know all passwords (47%). Other rules include no social media until a certain age (43%), no devices in family group settings (39%) and no Wi-Fi at certain times of day (19%).”
Where Kids & Parents Disagree Most (And What Experts Say)
It won’t surprise anyone to learn that the biggest disagreement kids and parents seem to have about tech is regarding the punishment employed for misuse.
For most parents (66%), the go-to punishment or correction involves taking the devices away, and 42% report that they regularly punish screen time abuse by reducing screen time.
About a third of kids report that their devices are taken away at least once a month because of disagreements with their parents about their online activities, and most report that this leaves them frustrated and/or annoyed.
Here’s what might be surprising, though: on this one, the experts are on the kids’ side.
“‘Restricting devices is more of a band-aid than a foolproof solution when it comes to teaching kids healthy digital habits,’ said [Aura Chief Medical Officer Dr. Scott] Kollins. ‘Kids will find ways around the rules if they’re not being taught self-regulation and the importance of disconnecting from screens or managing their online behavior responsibly.'”
About a third of parents say that their response to kids’ misuse of tech involves checking in with the kids to see what’s going on. For many households, this might be the most effective way forward, keeping lines of communication open and keeping kids as safe as possible online.